Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize