im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
