I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
