he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
