Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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