Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
