If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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