Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize