it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
