they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
