Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
