How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
home. puking in laundry basket.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Houston, we have a squirter
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
