Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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