It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
