I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
