my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Still dying that you shit outside
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dick very happy bro
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
