Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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