before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
