You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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