my mouth tastes like poor choices
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
