i just had sex bonerless
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
