I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
