So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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