Will you blow on my dice?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
