Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
