we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
