I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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