Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
