$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
