No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
