Your dad touched me again.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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