I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
