I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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