he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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