Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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