You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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