I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
