i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
