That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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