If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize