Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize