I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
