So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
