Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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