i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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