I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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