Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
