Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
