I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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