i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
