Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
