If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
