so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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