They should really pass out barf bags in church
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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