We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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