You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
