And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
