So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dicks are not precious.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
