Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
