Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
