dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Will exercising make me less horny?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
