OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
operation have a gay friend backfired
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
