It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I deserve this hangover.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
