one two three fourrrrnication!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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