You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
