someone threw a dead crab at me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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