even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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