the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
