I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
