i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize