You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
