Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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