$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
