Porn is love you can see.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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