It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
do nipples grow back?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
