It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
