It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
