I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
